Crazy golf, or mini-golf for those who prefer their sport pocket-sized, is a riot of fun, frustration, and fantastical obstacles. Whether you’re a pro or just trying to outdo your friends for bragging rights, here are the ten secrets to conquering the greens and securing your victory. Get ready to take notes and roll your eyes because we’re about to dive deep into the quirks of crazy golf.
1. Master Your Stance and Grip
Look, you’re not Tiger Woods, but you can at least try to look the part. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent like you’re about to drop it low, and hold that putter like it’s the last ice cream cone at a summer festival. Light grip, people! You’re putting, not wrestling a crocodile.
2. Visualise the Shot
Close your eyes and imagine the perfect putt. Visualise it, manifest it, pretend you’re in a cheesy sports movie montage. This mental magic might just save you from launching the ball into the neighbouring windmill.
3. Understand the Course Layout
Every crazy golf course is a unique beast. Take a stroll, pretend you’re Sherlock Holmes investigating a scene. Find the shortcuts, dodge the hazards, and spot the best angles. You’re basically a mini-golf cartographer now.
4. Focus on Consistency
Consistency is key, just like your obsession with TikTok. Develop a pre-shot routine and stick to it like glue. Whether it’s a wiggle, a shimmy, or a deep breath, consistency turns you from a hot mess to a mini-golf messiah.
5. Perfect Your Putting Speed
Speed is everything. Go too hard and you’re playing fetch; too soft and you’re just tapping the ball like it’s your grandma’s antique vase. Aim for that sweet spot—think Goldilocks, but with fewer bears.
6. Read the Green
The green is like your ex’s mood—unpredictable and full of traps. Look for slopes, dips, and odd textures. Get a feel for how the green will betray you and plan accordingly. Be the green whisperer.
7. Adapt to Obstacles
Obstacles aren’t roadblocks; they’re opportunities for glory. Embrace the wacky ramps, crazy loops, and weird statues. Use them to your advantage and you might just look like you planned that trick shot all along.
8. Practice Bank Shots
Bank shots are your secret weapon. Master them and you’ll be bouncing the ball off walls like a pool shark. Remember, angles are your friends—geometry finally has a use outside of school.
9. Stay Calm Under Pressure
Pressure makes diamonds, but it can also make you flub that easy putt. Keep calm and carry on, even when your friends are heckling. Deep breaths, clear mind, and remember: it’s just a game. Unless you’re losing—then it’s war.
10. Wind Up Your Competition
The main goal is to have fun. Enjoy the ridiculousness, laugh at the misses, and don’t take it too seriously. You’re here to enjoy, not audition for the PGA. But, nothing beats a bit of s***housery in that vital moment. Here at Lane7 we encourage fair play but if it’s all come down to the final hole and a well timed cough is what’s needed, go for it.
Final Thoughts
Winning at crazy golf is an art, a science, and a bit of luck. Master your stance, visualise success, and embrace the madness of the course. Above all, have a blast and let loose.
And speaking of letting loose, Lane7’s got your back with mini-golf madness in Leicester, London, and Edinburgh. Ready to show off your skills and snag that hole-in-one? Book your session at Lane7 now and turn your mini-golf dreams into reality—or at least a hilarious Instagram story. Book it, champ!